My Past, My Future
by Enchanted Sunrise
Summary: One-Shot,Not too long. This is my interpretation of COS from Ginny's point of view, after it has all happened. Not very dark, reflective. Reviews would be good. Hope you enjoy!


Disclaimer: Don't pretend to own Harry Potter...If I ever claim to send me to a padded room.

A/N: This is my thoughts on Ginny's time during COS. I may have net canon a little...not sure on that one. I'd like for you to review, though I'd prefer if you didn't flame...I'm a little insecure about this story. Hope you like...

I listened with a twisted sense of guilt as I heard about the attack on a student. It was worse when I found out who it was, Colin. I couldn't for the life of me figure out why I had to feel guilty about. What happened wasn't my fault…surely?

The next day I snuck out to see Colin, my heart pounding and my hands shaking. I knew I wasn't allowed to be in the hospital wing, but I had to see him for myself. I couldn't remember where I was when he had been attacked. Shock was my first guess, but that didn't explain the nightmares I'd had.

I peeled back the curtain surrounding the bed and my heart felt squeezed painfully by my instinctive sense of responsibility. As I stood there my mind wandered back to the dreams that had tortured me last night. Parseltongue orders- my voice saying things I didn't understand. Then _it_ left, whatever _it _was. All I knew was that it was terrible. When it came back I knew that something awful had happened. I awoke and remembered Colin, shivering in my fear and pulled my covers to my chest. My mind returned to the rest of me and I could feel tears running down my face. Then footsteps. I ran away, away from my guilt, but not my fear.

I remember that time getting darker, everyone suffering from the loss of one of our own. My view on the world became distorted as time went on. I found myself having thoughts I knew I shouldn't…about people who were meant to be my friends. _Stupid Mudblood _or _Disgrace to the name of wizardkind._ Every time this happened I would gasp and scold myself silently, wondering where the thought had come from. Soon I realised the cause, but I couldn't rid myself of that diary. My master, my owner was the man contained within those pages.

Justin and Nick were petrified. I couldn't remember a thing. The night afterwards I had another dream. Again it was amazingly vivid…

The whole school was whispering, theories, thoughts and fears. Only I remained silent. Then, one lesson with the Hufflepuffs, I heard a group of them having a go at Harry. Poor, poor Harry, he was suffering so much from these attacks. He was upset over them like everyone else, and they were blaming him.

Throughout the lesson I could hear their low passionate tones on and on about Harry's supposed 'evil'. They didn't know what they were talking about. It finally got too much. I could hardly breathe through my rage. I turned to them, my ears not registering a crack of magic that I had inadvertently let off. I could feel my hair flying around behind my head. "Stop it," I snarled; my voice full of my rage and someone else's malice. They became silent for a while, but I paid for it later. My crush on Harry was back in public conversations. I grew angry. Nobody's life was private within Hogwarts.

Through my anger I grew darker. I couldn't stop myself. I knew what was causing me to be like this, but I couldn't stop. It was an addiction; Tom Riddle's diary was being scorched into my soul.

The attacks carried on, the one that got me most was Hermione. She was the one person who had accepted me wholeheartedly as a sister and an equal. I really cared for her and the only relief to me the day she was attacked was that she wasn't dead.

My thoughts were so dark now I had stopped scolding myself for them, I had given in. I hardly knew who Ginevra Molly Weasley was. What I did know about her was that she was a pitiful excuse for a witch who didn't have control over her own actions anymore and was too cowardly to talk to anyone about the thing that was consuming her. Not that I hadn't tried.

I tried again and again to talk to Fred, George or Ron…even Harry. Percy, though seemed to suspect the truth and I was so scared he would tell everyone and they would never speak to me again when they saw who I truly was. Who _I _thought I truly was. I was so confused; I couldn't sort my head out. Everyone around me was always too busy and I didn't want to disturb them. Not just that, they were too brave, too good, too kind, too Griffindor. How could I, someone as disgusting me, ever hope to be cared for or speak to these people?

The darkness surrounded me. It went through me, consumed me. I was repulsed by what I had become. I hated myself and my weakness for letting Tom Riddle take control of me like he did. The thing I feared the most was that the evil that was inside of me was actually mine, I couldn't deal anymore, I was about to crack. That's when he took me to the chamber.

Now I have very few memories of what happened then. There are some flashbacks; pieces of a puzzle that doesn't come together except at night, when I am helpless to resist them. They get to a point and I black out. I can't remember anything until Harry. My Saviour. He didn't realise but he brought me back more than my life that day. He brought my soul, my freedom. He brought me from dark to light. Now I am who I was meant to be before Tom. I'm going to fight for what I got back, for as long as it takes, against the evil that was once a part of me

The dreams will forever haunt me

"Strength is born in the deep silence of long suffering hearts; not amid joy." Felcia Hermans British Poet 1793-1835

"For God so loved the world that he sent his one and only son, that we shall not perish, but have eternal life" John 3:16

A/N It would be good to hear from you : p


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